Ode to Lindsay and Brit

These poems were written by my friend Andrea Baylis…she’s funny as hell. Check out her blog http://www.andreasbrain.com/

K Fed and B Brit have been done for a whileBut the couture frock she wore would soon be defiledSmothered in grease from the bucket of redDesigner Zac Posen had a mind full of dreadWhy did I loan her my glorious gown?As he cried and cried with a face full of frownDirty fingers and hands were wiped all aboutThe juicy photos (Hooray!) are publishing clout!A big pile of poo was left as a treatStinky, stink, stink, that’s not fucking neatLeft to rot there, or perhaps shrivel upThe wee Yorkie dog, just a teeny teacupThe damage was done in that there suiteBig cameras and lights, and even stylist peepsB Brit said no, I came with my friendsThey crimped her locks, and curled her split endsQuickie trips to the john for mystery thingsPerhaps some bites on hot Hooters wingsShe’s a hungry girl and she likes her Mc D’sDrive-thrus and mini marts, she orders with pleaseSometimes even barefoot with a kid on her hipDenim minis most often with an occasional nipThat’s our gal B, from the deep down southPlease honey baby, stop stuffing your mouth(disclaimer! innocent until proven guilty in a court of law!)

A Hollywood glam girl, by the name of Lindsey LoThe cops nabbed her good, in her pocket some blowShe was goin’ down the road at a high rate of speedWhat was on her person? Nope, not weedShe was fresh from rehab with a spring in her stepThat habit of powder surely gives her some pepParty all night and on through the nextGET MORE COCAINE screams the phone message text

One response to “Ode to Lindsay and Brit

  1. ha! you did post it! who is this genius andrea person that wrote this? wow, you must be so blessed to know such a person!

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