2nd Chances

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning,
but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

-Maria Robinson

Ed, John, Mark, and I
Christmas 1989

This is a picture of the last Christmas my brothers and I spent with my Dad. It was 1989! That seems crazy to say…the last time I saw him was in October 1990, and he decided that he didn’t want to be a part of our lives anymore. Over the years I tried to contact him on numerous occasions and invited him to be part of my life. It had been about 8 years since I last reached out to him.

After driving 7 out of the 8 hours of my drive home for the holidays, I got the courage to call 4-1-1 and get his phone number…this lead to a phone call…which lead to an invite to his home to meet with him and his new wife (the mistress he left my mother for) for the first time in 17 years!

It was awkward and comfortable at the same time. For the first time in my life I didn’t need him to be my father the way I always thought that I did. I suddenly had the greatest appreciation for my mom, and all that she has done and continues to do to support her children. She is one of the most selfless people I have met in my entire life and I don’t know what I’d do without her.

Ed and I
Christmas 2007

This is a picture that was taken over the holidays at his home. I can’t describe the way that I’m feeling about the situation, but I think that we all have things that happen in our lives, and deserve to forgive and be forgiven.

Cheers to new beginnings and a new year! Happy 2008!
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3 responses to “2nd Chances

  1. Hi!

    I know your mom and have always thought she is one of the most selfless, thoughtful and caring moms!! She is wonderful!!

    I am so glad you got to meet with you dad.

    Happy 2008!!

    ~Michelle 🙂

  2. Sounds like you were able to “close the door” on this. Good for you~

    Love you doll face–

    Jessica

  3. How long you must wait for “it”, makes that moment of experiencing “it” worth having. C’mon, in Ed’s place you found a miraculous individual….your Mum! Your reflection of 1989 makes me aware that you’ve been pondering this life experience for a minute.

    By initiating the convo w/ Ed you fell down on your knees, but at least you didn’t ask for an apology. I admire that you didn’t show him any sympathy either. I would like to imagine that when you looked Ed in his eyes that day, you showed him his true self, engaging him to become someone else.

    I can envision Ed opening the door on that Holiday night…..for me the moment would be similar to being fast asleep and then having a peculiar dream bringing you to an awakening state of awkwardness…..Ol’ boy had his awakening when he saw the blueprint that he created in SJB that evening. You found him and that’s what you deserved…..you waited long enough for that moment.

    The posted photograph of your siblings, Ed and yourself reveals a moment of peace in your life. Cherish that moment and do your best to forget the past. The past can be reckless. Ultimately, “it” does go away as “it” is replaced with each new sunrise.

    I’m sure I could never understand the emotion(s) that are w/ your Bro’s and Momz, but I can relate to being caught in between all I wished for and all that I’ve been left with. Perhaps, I’ve stepped out of bounds with my response.

    I simply felt compelled to make you aware that underneath my words, I think you did an awesome thang…You tackled a difficult situation head-on. You didn’t place your emotional transmission in reverse….Momma D deserves a phone call from YOU!!! Cause her reverse ain’t working either….LOL!!!

    Real Talk, there is no combination of words that I could type to reflect how much I appreciate this post. It’s especially important for you to comprehend that I value your honesty to the bone. For real, let “it” go. You know what you’re worth!!! May God’s love always be with You……

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