I know that I have talked ill of The Chef before, but I left off one very important detail of his demeanor. He truly thinks that he’s a pirate. Not the cute Jack Sparrow, Johnny Depp sort of man, but the swashbuckler, dirty, drunken Captain Hook sort of pirate.
He used to say things like, “Arrrgggghhh…I’m a pirate.”
I just sort of let it go. But this weekend, at a mutual friends wedding (Mike and MO), he took it to an entire new level and tried to steal my panties with his pirate pick up lines.
Chef: I’m a pirate. Arrrggghhh.
SJ: I know.
Chef: SJ, if you were a pirate….
SJ: Which I’m not…
Chef: Would you keep your parrot on this shoulder (tapping the shoulder closest to him), or THIS shoulder? (Reaching around my body to put his drunken arm around my body and pull me close to him.)
SJ: Well…(pushing him off of me) I would keep my bird in the cage…WHERE BIRDS BELONG.
Chef: I guess you’re not really a pirate, huh?
He sincerely looked disappointed that I wasn’t ready to go sail the 7 Seas. But that didn’t stop him from following me around all night like I was his lost treasure chest. I guess I usually find the more Peter Pan types that don’t want to grow up…now I’ve got a Captain Hook to add to the list.
Special thanks to Brett and Morgan for doing there best to keep him at an arms length!
PS- The wedding was AMAZING!Hands down, one of the best I’ve ever been to!