Supermarket Sweep

Flustered. The only word to describe me lately. One big, giant hot mess. As I stood in line for the self check out at the Teeter (grocery story), a million thoughts raced through my head.

Is this all I need?

I wonder what my friends are doing….

What time do the files have to be sent in by to get the quote back in the morning?

What time is it now?

I need to call Blond Bombshell back…she sounded upset in her message.

I wonder if Pop-tart #1’s gma is doing any better.

I would love to get a spray tan tomorrow, but do I have time?

I’m starving.

I can’t believe that project pushed.

Should I be eating pasta?

I am going to South Beach, I don’t think this is part of the South Beach diet.

Screw diets.

Maybe if I was skinnier, the BSBB would still be in lust with me.

Is there anything that I can do to make those customers change their mind?

Dinner is so much more fun when I have C&C and Co. around.

That cop thinks I’m an idiot. He won’t even smile at me. He has no idea what a “Pom Squad Reunion” in Queen City is like. Clearly he was never on pom squad, so what if we are in a fire lane.

Finally a lane is open. I scan my card. I scan my 3 items.

I hate U Scan. It just shows the lack of customer service these days.

What is it that I have to get done tonight?

I hope David Cook wins Idol.

If I get out of here, I might get to catch the tail end as soon as all my work is done.

I bag my groceries and walk out the door.

Pop Tart #2 didn’t answer. But she just called me.

Cute boy in Audi.

Very cute. Too bad I just got done at Zumba and I’m all sweaty. I always look gross at the grocery.

I love Zumba.

Why aren’t you answering the phone?

What time is it again?

Just then it hit me like a ton of bricks….

Where is my receipt?

How did I pay for these items?????

Wait….

I don’t think I did! EEEEeeeeeek!

OMG…I just robbed the Teeter!

I make a sharp U-turn and pull back into the parking lot.

I see the cop…I try not to make any eye contact because he clearly thinks I’m a space cadet. I bow my head…

SJ: Hi…um…did I just leave here and forget to pay. I am soooo stupid…so, so sorry. I feel like a fool.

HT Worker: Thank you so much for coming back. I just voided it. So…if you could go get your items and come back in a scan them and pay this time…that would be great.

Head still down, I walk back out to the car and get my bag.

I see you looking at me cop. Don’t arrest me for less than $10 worth of groceries. I’m not a thief. I came back.

I scanned my items, this time with a blank pallet in my mind. This time making sure that I competed all the steps, paid my bill and took my receipt.

Maybe I am a space cadet. But I’m not a thief. I’m not sure if this HT incident or this shoe incident is worse?

What’s the stupidest thing you’ve done lately?

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4 responses to “Supermarket Sweep

  1. Working Girl Two

    haha i loved your train of thought! and how it distracted you from not paying. i can’t believe someone didn’t follow you out of the store!

    i do stupid things all the time. but i recently had to bring a really important document to work on home with me and didn’t convert it into a 2003 document (we have 2007 microsoft at work) and i was so mad at myself!

  2. Jamie Lovely

    Today I was getting orange juice from the fridge and managed to drop a whole container of hummus on the floor, face down spilling it everywhere. I am awesome.

  3. This post made me laugh! I’ve never actually stolen groceries! :)Have a great weekend.

  4. A couple weeks ago I was going through a car wash. I paid at the stand at the entrance, pulled ahead, and realized that I purchased one of the washes where they do a undercarriage blast as you drive in. I didn’t have enough time to roll up my windows, not to mention I didn’t expect the water to spray so soon. I DOVE THROUGH A CAR WASH WITH MY WINDOWS DOWN!!! How stupid can I be?

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