I saw him last week for the first time since he stomped on my heart. In all fairness to him, I don’t think the stomping was intentional. He didn’t even have to say a word, as soon as I walked into the room, my heart began pounding in my chest the way it did the first day we met. I can’t believe it’s been over a year now…
One person told me how helpful he would be. That he was charming and endearing, that he’d make an amazing mentor. A mutual friend of ours told me to watch out, “He’s the worst…he’s charming alright. But beware…He has the inability to love.”
I didn’t get it. I didn’t listen. How I should have listened… All he had to do was say ten words and I was smitten. It didn’t matter what my friend said, there was no denying that he had charmed his way into my heart.
One year later…over a dozen “not dates” together…a handful of dates with other people (on both our ends)…and he still has the ability to instantly give me butterflies. The kind that you get in the eighth grade when you get assigned to be lab partners with the boy you’ve been crushing on for the past three years. The kind that you want to stay with you forever and ever. The feeling that confirms your lack of feelings for Mr. Nice guy.
When his foot brushed mine under the dinner table, I melted instantly, but tried to brush it off to a small table.
When we were walking on the street and he ended up next to me, I tried to tell myself that it was just a coincidence.
When he left, I knew I was foolish to think he still may have feelings for me.
When my phone started buzzing as I walked out the door, I knew that I was right back where I started a year ago…