They call it a crush for a reason…

Each and every time you see them your heart flutters into your throat and you feel like you’re never going to be able to breath again. Your head is so high in the clouds that at moments you forget about the rest of the world.

But when it’s all said and done with, and your off your high, your so low that you could be crushed at any moment.


It was my freshman year of high school, and my friend Sarah and I shared her senior sister’s locker because it was closer to all the cute senior boys and the front of the school. We got to walk by the “wall” where they would all post up between classes and stare at the girls when we walked by. We wore skirts, flipped our hair and giggled every time we walked by.

He was my mother’s nightmare. A senior, with a car, who played his music too loud, called too late and smoked cigarettes. Not to mention that it was inevitable that at the end of summer he would be running off to college.

I thought that I was going to throw up with nervousness when he talked to me for the first time. I nearly passed out when he asked for my phone number. I jumped ever time the phone rang at my parents house hoping, wishing, and crossing my fingers that it would be him. The first time we hung out after school, I was shaking the entire way to his friends house, partly because the bass in his car was so strong, and partly because I didn’t know what I was going to say. He drove a black Acura Intergra, 2 door and I had his licence plate memorized so that I wouldn’t confuse his car for someone else’s. (I am fully aware that this is crazy.)

We never dated, not really, but I don’t know that I had ever crushed on someone so hard in my life!

He went away to college and it was too much for me. I was getting home from dance class, doing homework and getting ready to go to bed, and he was getting ready to go to a party. He still called and wrote me letters, but at the end of the day I choose to date one of his friends that was still in high school. (Who also ended up breaking my heart.)

He came home for a few years, but his girlfriend kept us from being close. We always stayed in touch…I went to college, he moved to LA. Our relationship shifted into a more brother/ sister relationship.

It’s been around 6 years since I’ve seen him. Over a year since I’ve talked to him…but he slips into my thoughts on occasion and I wonder if he still thinks of me.

Yesterday I opened my AOL email, one that I rarely check…and I got this email.

You ever going to call me? I have been waiting around for Hotmail give me your archived email…I hope you receive this!!!

I guess I don’t have to wonder anymore!

I sent him my number and he called me today. I got excited like I did in high school, but things are so different now.

It’s been 12 years that we’ve been friends! We’ve both grown but I love that we can still chat like no time has passed.


Do you still have a high school crush that haunts your thoughts? What would you say to them if you got the chance?

11 responses to “Crushing

  1. I knew who it was the second you said black acura!! 🙂

    I’m so glad hear you are still friends!!

  2. if only my high school crushes weren’t all married or in serious relationships! or if we didn’t ALL LIVE IN COLUMBIA. it kind of takes away from the crush part.

    i do have one guy, though, i guess. he’s in greenville, has been dating a girl for years, but i ran into him in atlanta a week and a half ago and it still comes back.

    this guy, though, sounds fun! 🙂 you never know what the future holds!

  3. Oh, I love that feeling you get – that feeling of hopefulness – of excitement – of anxiety. I rarely get those feelings anymore, though I suspect they will bubble to the top again on my wedding day.

  4. That’s one thing you miss being married. No more crushes…no more butterfly feelings, or nervous first kisses. Everyone I liked in high school is married now…or they were pretty lame. One person I still think about is my first college boyfriend. HE broke my heart. I started dating my husband only a month after he stopped talking to me. When I got engaged to my husband my ex texted me and asked why I didn’t wait for him. I stayed with my hubby but every now and then I wonder how my life would be different if I’d made a different choice. It’s usually when my husband has pissed me off.

  5. I don’t have a high school crush, but I do have friendships like that. Sometimes we’ll go months or even a year-ish without talking to each other. But I love how we can reconnect and act as if no time has gone by at all.

  6. Wow! There is one guy who I had a crush on in high school but I haven’t spoken to him since we graduated. I saw him on facebook but haven’t bothered to send him a friend request.

  7. ahhhyes. and your story sounds so similar to mine! it was an older guy in hs who my parents thought i was too young for. we kept in touch after he graduated, he sent me letters too… and recently he found me on myspace (ugh), and called me gorgeous and he’s been on my mind since. he lives way too far away for anything to happen, but yes, i think of him often. lots of what ifs? come to mind.

  8. I have something kinda like this. It started out as a crush- but we ended up becoming great friends. We fell out of touch for, like, a year but then he randomly found me again. Now he’s one of my best friends! I love reconnecting after time, and realizing how great things still are.

  9. That’s a great story!!

    And, yes, I have plenty! 🙂

  10. Fun! I don’t have a high school crush, but for the first time in years, I have a real live adult crush:) Even if nothing comes of it, it’s so much fun!

  11. I know that EXACT
    feeling. My high school
    crush was the most
    prettiest man I’ve
    ever laid my eyes on
    freshman year. He was a big
    bad junior…and I wanted
    him so badly!

    We went on ONE date…and
    it was the best night of
    my life…or something
    like it.

    I still get goosebumps
    when I see him around.

    How excited you must have
    been when you got that
    email…and not to mention…
    when he called.
    HOLLA, girl!


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