Category Archives: Shame on You

Busy as a Bee

I seriously can’t believe that May has come and almost gone. My month has been a whirlwind  so far and I still have so many exciting things coming up! Sadly, this is leaving me very little time to catch up with my blog life (and my home life for that matter).

I promise to come back very soon and share loads of cool things with you…please don’t break up with me! I still love you!

xxxo,

SJ

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That’s Not My Name

I adore the Ting Tings song “That’s Not My Name”. My favorite part is when he says Jane…which is really not my name, just part of it! But that’s not the point of this post…

I think it may have been an early 80’s fad to drop the “h” in Sara , but I’ve grown to love it. When I was younger it didn’t bother me all that much when people didn’t spell my name correctly, but as an adult, it’s become one of my biggest pet peeves!

I don’t mind so much when my customers mess up in the beginning, but it seems like they aren’t the one with the problem. The problem lies with my co-workers, and only the co-workers that already get under my skin that can’t seem to get it right.

It kills me. Seriously. This is why…

1. When searching for my name in our company data base, I am listed as S-A-R-A

and

b. I sign off all emails as S-A-R-A

It’s not a hard thing to do. As sales reps, it’s our job to notice the little things in life.

I’ve debated on how to address this issue, and this is where I turn to you my readers for help.

Do I…

a. Let it go? – I fear that if I do this I will be angry with them for something else and explode and say, “Why would I expect you to get it right when you can’t even spell my name correctly?”. This would not be good for my sanity or career.

b. Start adding an unnecessary extra “h” to their name,  like “Thanks Dough” instead of “Thanks Doug”? I think this may be my best idea yet.

c. Act like a grown up and politely tell them that they are spelling my name incorrectly and that I would appreciate if they corrected them self?  No fun, and honestly it can be hard not to come off like a snooty beast via email.

d. Plan B…this is where you tell me your ideas!

Help me blogosphere, before I go mad, take plan A or B…

TMI Thursday: Poop Patrol

I LOVE my dog a lot, but there are few things in life that I hate more than dog poop. It’s so gross and the smell is awful. Ugh. Soph’s poo is about the size of a tootsie roll, and I love her to pieces so it’s not so bad, but it still isn’t like picking roses or anything.

My neighborhood is a dog loving community, almost everyone owns a dog, but they refuse to put up doggie poop stations with bags. The homeowners association always gives some BS reason why they don’t want to do it, but they have no problem sending out hate mail telling us to pick up our poop, or pay the price. There are these super cute pick up bags that attach to any dog leash that make it so convenient to pick up after your little friend. (Buy them here or any pet store.) 

I’m so excited to say that a lot of my neighbors have caught on to this fad, but I’m sad to say that they are missing the final step in the poop pick up process…see picture below.

poop-11

8 bags. Eeew.

VOMIT! It appears that while they are great at picking up the dog droppings, they aren’t so good at walking it the 20 extra steps to the dumpster. Some neighbors even let the bags compile for days, weeks even, without picking up their poop bags. It makes me want to ill. Seriously. And the worst part…it isn’t just one neighbor, it’s a lot of them! YIKES!

One of my friends lives next to the poop collector show above and gets so sick of it, she throws it out for her once a week. Who does that?

Apparently my complex isn’t the only one suffering from this poop porch epidemic, my friend Dre had this exact same issue where she used to live!

Hey…it could be worse. At least I’m not talking about my poop!

I want…

to have a good excuse as to why I haven’t posted in forever, but I just don’t have one that’s good enough.

to write about Match Maker Monday, but I’m struggling to write and PG-13 version. Jules is crazy.

to give you a good TMI Thursday, but my mom stumbled across my blog and I can only imagine what she would have to say about it.

to tell you all about how I opened my heart to someone, only to have it crushed again, but I just can’t find the words. It hurts too much and I feel like it would disappoint the blogosphere as much as it’s disappointed me.

to take the time out of my day to read and respond to the 200+ posts in my reader, but I don’t have the time. *I’m reading as much as I can and I love all of you. I’m still around, just hibernating. I’ll be back before you know it.

Thank you all so much for your comments, gchats, texts, bbms and support. They mean more to me than you know.

xxxo

TMI Thursday: The one where I loose to Tostitos

I LOVE TMI Thursday. Lilu is so funny and I love that she started this Thursday trend.

I LOVE snacking and making out…just not at the same time. 

One night after going out with a man (we’ll keep him nameless), I wanted some big sexy time. I thought that I would be cute and start stripping down while I was getting ready for bed. While brushing my teeth nearly naked, I felt his hands come around my waist and sneak up to my lady bits.

As I turn to start our big sexy session I hear a crunch.  Much to my surprise I see the man with Tostitos in one hand and my boob in the other. Seriously.

I was mildly appalled and feeling less than sexy. I gave the man an ultimatum: Me or Tostitos.

Then the sound came back. CRUNCH.

Did a man just choose corn chips over me? Seriously? I may loose to a lot of things, by Tostitos is not one of them. I promptly put on my pj’s, got in bed and made a pillow fort around me.

He may have chosen chips over me that night, but making up the next morning was worth loosing the night before!

A Tale of Two Turkeys

I know that on Thanksgiving I should be letting you all know all of the things that I’m thankful for. There are a ton of them, and I’ll be sure to let you know all about them some day soon. But it wouldn’t be fair for me to let this day go by and not share with you the “Tale of Two Turkeys”.

Once upon a time, in a far off land known as Kentucky, there was a fun spirited girl named SJ. She was madly in love with a shitty foolish boy named V, regardless of the fact that he had put her on a roller coaster ride for 5 long years. When their tumultuous love finally came to an end, they were living together in a small one bedroom apartment. Although their relationship came to an end, there were still a few more weeks to go in their lease and they stayed living together. V decided he would be the one to move out, leaving SJ to live alone in their apartment.

It was so hard for SJ continue to live in the same space she once shared with her long time love. Like many men, V was not very diligent when it came to packing his belongings and left many loose ends behind. Every time SJ would open the closet, she would see the coats he left behind. They still smell like him and had receipts in the pockets from dates they’d had in the past. When she went to get the mail, his name could be found on credit card offers and magazines. His protein shakes were in the cupboard next to the flour and…the 13 lb. frozen turkey V’s work had given him for Thanksgiving was right next to her peppermint ice cream, monopolizing freezer space. He was everywhere she turned, despite the fact that he’d been gone for weeks.

V had only moved about a mile down the road and was living in a house with a boy named Freddie. Freddie was good friends with both SJ and V, and was one of SJ’s employees! This made things even harder than you can imagine for her broken heart.

One day at work, SJ was caught off guard by a phone call from V, “Jane, I need you to get my coats and my mail and bring it to Freddie. That stuffs been laying around your house too long.”

SJ was caught off guard by his demands and felt so nauseous she thought that she was going to get sick all over her desk. How dare he call her at work and demand her return the stuff that he left behind?

While at home on  her lunch break SJ’s decided that she couldn’t let these emotions consume her life anymore. That’s when a light bulb went off in her head. DING! She decided to quit being sad and start getting even!

She grabbed the largest box that she could find and started filling it with his things, the coats he’d left in the hall closet, the t shirt that was behind the washer, the month’s worth of junk mail that had been littering the kitchen counter, the creatine powder that had been a waste of space in the pantry and last but not least, she topped the box off with the 13lb frozen turkey.

As she was taping the box up, she couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. The only thing that could have made this moment any better would have been if she was able to see his face when he opened his final parting gift. She thought about wrapping it up as a house warming gift and enclosing a sweet note.

Dear douche V,

Thank you for finally getting out of my life for good. Hope to not hear from you.  Congrats on your new home.

x,

SJ

But after second thought, she decided that may cause him to open the gift right away.

SJ returned to work box in hand and passed off the goods to Freddie. She felt bad putting him in the middle of things, but she had no other choice.Freddie put the box in his trunk Friday afternoon, and gave it to V when he remembered on Sunday evening.

Yes, you read that right. The frozen turkey sat on top of all of his coats and mail, in the trunk of a car for 2 full days!

Monday morning, my store opened at 7:30 AM, at 7:31 AM the phone rang.

“Thanks for returning the turkey.”

SJ couldn’t hold her composure any longer…all she could do was laugh. It was the first sense of closure she had in her relationship. After years of putting up with his chicken shit, she’d finally give him the bird.

Happy Turkey Day!

Letter to the Trail Police

Dear Stupid Biker in the Green Sweatshirt,

I hope you enjoyed your short bike ride this afternoon. The weather was brisk and perfect for fall outside activities. Although we were slightly distracted by your plumbers crack hanging out of your sweat pants, we are very aware that you yelled at us to pick up the water bottle we threw on the ground at mile marker 2. You must have been amazed by our beauty or hard of hearing because you clearly missed Erin telling you that we were not done running and would be back to get our water later.

You see, although you saw us at mile marker 2, we were really on our 6th mile out of 12 and scheduled to run by the water 2 more times! That water was what was supposed to keeping us going the 2nd half of our run. You can only imagine our dismay when we got back there to find no water! We wish we had seen you to punch you in the face thank you for cleaning up the trail, but sadly you and your crack were only out for a short ride.

Despite your plans to ruin our last long run together before our half marathon in 2 weeks, we were all still able to finish our 12 miles, so… IN YOUR FACE STUPID BIKER MAN!

Sincerely,

SJ, SAS and ET

AKA- The Big Sexy Runners