Category Archives: Things I don’t like

Confessions

What do you even begin to open back up to the interwebs when it’s literally been almost months since you’ve let them in? I guess the only fair thing to do is to lay it all on the line. Because I know you won’t judge…

I confess…

  • Last week my reader had almost 1000 unread blog posts…I “marked all as read”.  This doesn’t mean that I don’t love and miss you.
  • I’ve been reading the same book since December…everyone else seems to have loved it, and I just can’t get into it.  Regardless of this, I still have 4 other books sitting on my nightstand uncracked. This is so embarrassing.
  • Some days I want to be Taylor Swift. For serious. She’s so adorable and well dressed and smart and happy.
  • I follow Miley Cyrus on Twitter.
  • Two years ago, I thought I knew what I wanted in life. It’s amazing how life can change in such a small amount of time.
  • I am attracted to all the wrong men.
  • The happiest hour of my day is when I’m dancing.
  • I buy far too many dancing clothes.
  • I own a too many unworn shoes, clothing with tags attached, books unread…but I don’t own a vacuum. The idea of purchasing one makes me a bit ill.
  • I think I missed my calling as a ballroom dancer. I love the drama of it all.
  • I’ve been keeping super busy so that I don’t remember that I’m super lonley.
  • I will try my best to start to write more again, but I can’t make any promises!

Anything you want to tell me?

xo

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MMM v. 9- Trump Style…by Jules

Dear It’s Just Lunch,

YOU’RE FIRED! If I were this bad at my job, I would have been fired almost immediately after I was hired.  I’m not the type of girl that leaves you guessing what I’m thinking, so how you continually match me with people that are completely wrong, is beyond me.  So far you have hooked me up with:

  • A self-centered, non-committal guy
  • A socially awkward guy
  • A total introvert
  • A guy looking for one night stands
  • A cowboy who lives 2 hours away

and now…

  • A married man!

Enough is enough!!! I can deal with with creating a conversation out of nothing, turning down booty calls, and listening to someone beg for compliments; however, I draw the line at dating married men!!!

If I seem pissed, it’s because I AM!  How dare you continue to waste my time, after the absorbent amount of money I have paid you “experts” to find me a match.

You have a lot of work to do to redeem yourself.  I’m not interested in dating for sport so please, please, please, do not set me up again unless he possesses ALL the traits I am looking for.  Not just some of them.  I am willing to wait.

Yours truly,

Jules

PS- I wouldn’t recommend asking me to be a reference.

That’s Not My Name

I adore the Ting Tings song “That’s Not My Name”. My favorite part is when he says Jane…which is really not my name, just part of it! But that’s not the point of this post…

I think it may have been an early 80’s fad to drop the “h” in Sara , but I’ve grown to love it. When I was younger it didn’t bother me all that much when people didn’t spell my name correctly, but as an adult, it’s become one of my biggest pet peeves!

I don’t mind so much when my customers mess up in the beginning, but it seems like they aren’t the one with the problem. The problem lies with my co-workers, and only the co-workers that already get under my skin that can’t seem to get it right.

It kills me. Seriously. This is why…

1. When searching for my name in our company data base, I am listed as S-A-R-A

and

b. I sign off all emails as S-A-R-A

It’s not a hard thing to do. As sales reps, it’s our job to notice the little things in life.

I’ve debated on how to address this issue, and this is where I turn to you my readers for help.

Do I…

a. Let it go? – I fear that if I do this I will be angry with them for something else and explode and say, “Why would I expect you to get it right when you can’t even spell my name correctly?”. This would not be good for my sanity or career.

b. Start adding an unnecessary extra “h” to their name,  like “Thanks Dough” instead of “Thanks Doug”? I think this may be my best idea yet.

c. Act like a grown up and politely tell them that they are spelling my name incorrectly and that I would appreciate if they corrected them self?  No fun, and honestly it can be hard not to come off like a snooty beast via email.

d. Plan B…this is where you tell me your ideas!

Help me blogosphere, before I go mad, take plan A or B…

MMM v. 5: Common Courtesy….By Jules

No I will not have sex with you

As expected, my French friend Luc (AKA Pierre), offered great stories and provided a unique perspective on life.  Its too bad he wasn’t remotely attractive.  The allure to IJL is that they set you up on a no-pressure first date; either lunch or an after-work drink.  In either circumstance, the expectation is to go dutch.

After we had fulfilled our IJL obligation (one after-work drink) Pierre asked me to have dinner.  Since I was enjoying the conversation I agreed.  I believed I was putting off the “friend vibe” but as the date came to a close I noticed him starting to lean in toward me, a sure sign that he was interested.   I excused myself to the ladies room and came back to our bill sitting on the table.  He looked it over, placed his credit card inside, and passed it to me expecting me to split the check!!!!! CHIVALRY IS DEAD!  

If there had been a chance at any point, that went out the window when he made me pay for my own dinner after he initiated it.  As we walked toward the lobby, he stopped me and grabbed my hand.  As if I wasn’t already turned off enough, he said:

Pierre: “Julie, I’ve have a really great time and I think you are a great girl.”

Julie: *smile

Pierre: “Do I think we will be long-term boyfriend and girlfriend????  Probably not… but I’d like you to come back to my place for one more drink.”

Julie: *jaw drops to the ground

ARE YOU KIDDING ME! At least buy me dinner before you ask me to have sex with you.  And here I thought the French were supposed to be romantic….  Another on bites the dust.

Date post-mortem

After each date I am expected to call into my date coordinator, Jen,  to discuss the positive and negatgive attribues of my date.  Jen was surprised to hear that it hadn’t gone well.  I started by telling her the story above.  She laughed hysterically and couldn’t believe he acted that way.  However, she took offense when I asked her if she had seen pictures of him before she set us up. 

Jen: “Yes, I see pictures of all the men before I set you up.  Why?”

Julie: “Well, because you and I must have very different taste in men.”

Jen: “Wow! You didn’t think Luc was good looking?”

Julie: “I’m sorry Jen, but I didn’t find him even remotely attractive.”

Jen: “Wow, you must have different taste than me…and everyone else!”

WHAT?!?! I though I was paying IJL to be supportive and to find me what I’m looking for.  I have demanded that we go back to the quality-not-quantity model of dating.  There are no new dates for me this upcoming week and I will wait patiently until they find me what I’m looking for, physically and socially.

My Inbox: Cut and Paste

It’s seems like so many of my day to day life activities revolve around email: work, Zumba, dinner plans, catching up. Between Outlook, my personal email, blog email, Facebook and side job email account I’m checking inboxes left and right.

As the comments start to come it on my giveaway about how their inboxes are filled with cute, loving, dirty talking emails for people, I start to get a little jealous. Maybe even bitter, because I don’t have this at all. On occasion I may get caught in a series of flirtatious emails, but none worth saving.

A few weekends ago I got excited because I got an email via Facebook from one of the cute shirtless volleyball players that read:

Hey if you go out tonight give me a call. l have some buddies in town form NY so we’ll be uptown.  704.xxx.xxxx. Come out and show me some dance moves ;0)

This message was followed up by a sweet wall post and a text or two. Later that week grabbed drinks and I can’t say it was a dream date or that I got butterflies, but I was excited to be back in the game and feel like someone was pursuing me. My friends were excited that I was starting to let go of my feelings for my winter romance and sheared my date story with one of their co-workers.

“What was his name again?’, cute co-worker girl asked. “That sounds so familiar…”

“Hot Shirtless Volleyball Man*”, E replied.

“Ummm…he’s been sending me the SAME messages!” exclaimed cute co-worker girl.

Now I know that there are no laws that say that single men can not email more than one girl at a time…but there should be laws that state that these said girls can not be in the same cirlcecircle of friends! AND there should be rules that prohibit CUT and PASTE!

In his defense, he had no idea that we would know eachother. But it still feel like someone took a pin to my balloon…again.

*Name has been changed. 🙂

TMI Thursday: Poop Patrol

I LOVE my dog a lot, but there are few things in life that I hate more than dog poop. It’s so gross and the smell is awful. Ugh. Soph’s poo is about the size of a tootsie roll, and I love her to pieces so it’s not so bad, but it still isn’t like picking roses or anything.

My neighborhood is a dog loving community, almost everyone owns a dog, but they refuse to put up doggie poop stations with bags. The homeowners association always gives some BS reason why they don’t want to do it, but they have no problem sending out hate mail telling us to pick up our poop, or pay the price. There are these super cute pick up bags that attach to any dog leash that make it so convenient to pick up after your little friend. (Buy them here or any pet store.) 

I’m so excited to say that a lot of my neighbors have caught on to this fad, but I’m sad to say that they are missing the final step in the poop pick up process…see picture below.

poop-11

8 bags. Eeew.

VOMIT! It appears that while they are great at picking up the dog droppings, they aren’t so good at walking it the 20 extra steps to the dumpster. Some neighbors even let the bags compile for days, weeks even, without picking up their poop bags. It makes me want to ill. Seriously. And the worst part…it isn’t just one neighbor, it’s a lot of them! YIKES!

One of my friends lives next to the poop collector show above and gets so sick of it, she throws it out for her once a week. Who does that?

Apparently my complex isn’t the only one suffering from this poop porch epidemic, my friend Dre had this exact same issue where she used to live!

Hey…it could be worse. At least I’m not talking about my poop!

I want…

to have a good excuse as to why I haven’t posted in forever, but I just don’t have one that’s good enough.

to write about Match Maker Monday, but I’m struggling to write and PG-13 version. Jules is crazy.

to give you a good TMI Thursday, but my mom stumbled across my blog and I can only imagine what she would have to say about it.

to tell you all about how I opened my heart to someone, only to have it crushed again, but I just can’t find the words. It hurts too much and I feel like it would disappoint the blogosphere as much as it’s disappointed me.

to take the time out of my day to read and respond to the 200+ posts in my reader, but I don’t have the time. *I’m reading as much as I can and I love all of you. I’m still around, just hibernating. I’ll be back before you know it.

Thank you all so much for your comments, gchats, texts, bbms and support. They mean more to me than you know.

xxxo