A girls guide to hitting the track:
Welcome to Keeneland, home of beautiful horses and fast women. If you’ve never been to a race, watch out. You’re in for the time of your life! After years of experience, this is the best advice I can give, but nothing you can do can truly prepare you for a weekend at the race.
1. Bet on the Booze.
Perhaps the most important rule of thumb. You’ll always come in first, and it pays off much better than any horse.
The smart little pop tarts prefer Double GG and Water.
*A clear drink is much easier to get out of a white dress than cranberry. Ask Tiff.
2.Always Pack a Spare.
Dress that is. If you don’t put your money on the booze, put it on the dress (or 2), you never know when your friends will drag you there two days in a row! And you never know what ex boys are lurking in the paddock.
PS-Don’t let your man leave the house without a coat and tie. No matter how cute you look, you’ll never be able to get him into the club house without one.
3. Book Your Hotel in Advance.
Every hotel in town will be booked. Unless you’re a
Grazt Park VIP, you’ll never be able to get a room. Although it’s a bit pricey, I hear they have great complimentary bottled water in every room!
4. Tailgate Early
A tailgate breakfast means don’t show up at lunch. They may leave you eating your breakfast casserole in the car.
5. Be prepared for the hangover of a lifetime.
It will suck. But mark my words, the more mimosas you drink, the better you’ll feel.
6. Always Roll with a Local Celeb or Two.
They can always get their hands on club house tickets, and know just who to call for dinner reservations in a pinch.
Not to mention that they may roll up to dinner in an orange convertible that makes you want to say “
SWEET“.
7. A little concealer goes a long way.
After a long day at the track, dinner, and dancing the night away you may need to cover the circles under your eyes, or the hickey on your neck that BS left during your make out session.
*I’m not going to call any one out, because if you’re reading-you know who you are, but a little bird told me that green concealer counter acts bruising and works wonders.
8. Ladies, hold on to your husbands and handbags.
Keeneland brings out not only beautiful horses, but beautiful women with designer handbags as well.
What sounds like an innocent outing with his friends, can turn into T-R-O-U-B-L-E. And you can’t be mad at the deliciously single 20 somethings for looking so good…it’s not our fault they can’t control themselves when sundresses come out of the closet.
As far as handbags go, just don’t let it leave your arm. There are only so many good bags to choose from, you never know when a mix up can occur!
9. PACE yourself.
The horses need to do it, and so do you! They’ll never finish the race if there too fast out of the gate, and you’ll never make it though dinner and to where the real fun begins if you don’t.
10. Screw the RULES!
Take the rules, toss them out the window, grab your big sexy ladies and go to the track.
Some days it’s more fun to learn from your own mistakes!
Not Your Plain Jane 